There is one thing good money can't buy in Malaysia- broadband Internet that doesn't give you problems. And for that, apologies for not updating our blog as we should, fellow readers ... (If you're out there, drop us a message on our Chatbox! Thanx!).

Oh, and another thing, King Niggy's computer ran into some trouble with the Lumut pictures locked inside sooo . . . here's are a couple of FlashBacks that deserve 'Kingly' mention.

6 June 2007

9.30pm - Kings Niggy, Chi Ho and Ronnie arrived at Bojangles Pub for their 9pm stand-up show in typical Malaysian timing. However, its not until 10 (something) before they started their show with a few rounds of drinking games.

10.40pm - And when King Chi Ho started his show, it was all havoc after that. Waves of hecklers made their presence known but what could more worse than a female heckler hoping to instil some biological balance after a barrage of sexist jokes from the King. Kings Matt & Jon with Rachel and Leon had just arrived to stand as witnesses. But then again, its an open mic session.

11.30pm - The DJ crashed into the mood to counter the hecklers with his rendition of how a party should be. And that is when it come to Kings senses that if they'd partied longer, it would King Matt's birthday. So, a quick check in their wallets and the party is to go on.

June 7 2007

12.00am - We spilled the beans to King Matt and embraced in a typical 'brudders' fashion. King Matt was doing his very best trying to convince the rest how surprised he was. Now, what kind of a birthday party is this without a 'flaming lambo'?! So out pops one, courtesy of the Kings and King Matt sipped the sucker down as if he was born behind a bar. And what kind of a King Matt's birthday party is this without a 2nd 'flaming lambo'!!! So out pops another and King Matt downed it as if he was born drunk, eyes half open, with bottles of vodka tucked beneath his armpits. But HECK, no King has ever seen King Matt drunk as he gloriously sunk these buggers with the classic 'I Will Survive" on the background.

1.30am - With the DJ still spinning crowd favourites of the old and young, the King's troupe danced along with the 'Can Can', the 'Locomotive', even some 'Dondang Sayang' and broke our vocal cords replicating the pitch of Beyond's most famous song. The pub owner Skin was kind enough to offer a bottle, a sign that this party is not going to end this early. But this blog has to though, for I can't remember anything after that...

Labels: FlashBack

Its funny how certain things can escape you when you're busy. The Kings were half way into their busiest week of the month and with the City - Link event on their schedule, the Kings can finally take a brief break as the event only calls for Dance 101 a.k.a The CockroachDance . But little did they know that the event signifies a special milestone: the half century milestone.

Instead of celebrating or cheering as they should, the Kings approached the event like any other. At first, things were going smoothly, with the soundcheck at 5pm and the performance at half past 10pm, things couldn't be any better.

Unfortunately, as the performance slot beckoned, the Kings was confronted by a scenario that they have never confronted before. A scenario so rare that it hardly graced any event in the country or even leave the slightest hint inside the Kings' minds that it would happen in this land of milk and honey, within their lifetime! But despite all the odds of it not happening, the prospects of this scenario unveiling itself in this very event triggered a distress call from one of the Kings to alert the others. And in that moment, as King Chi Ho held aloft his mobile phone and pressed the mouth piece against his cheek, his beaming voice echoed across the club house lobby, in which he stood, turning every head around him as passer bys stared at the sources of tension and stress that boomed aloud the phrase,"Carry forward, carry forward, we're on in 5 minutes, 5 minutes!"

The half past 10pm slot is now carried forward to half past 9pm. All in all, 1 hour in between. What happened? Did some performers turned Jew and did an Exodus? This is really unheard of but the Kings were on in 5 with Kings Ronnie and Nigesh still on their way to the venue. The rest of the Kings talked the organizers into buying them some time, in which they did for about 20 minutes.

From then on, the Kings (again) stole the spotlight with The Prof. getting most of the fake tan and hooking up with a revolting Miss City - Link that one wouldn't want to know more about, especially what's lodged above 'her' thighs and under that micro skirt. The crowd was a bit tough that night and my guess is most of them were from Government school. In the end, the Kings all had fun (and some more money) and it was all over by 10pm. If only the Kings knew that they hit the milestone, their night would have been longer. But then again, its early sunshine for the Kings the next day. Reason: they're gonna be off to Lumut.

Labels: event_performances_show

"Guys, we have a product launch ...", announced Matt during one of our routine practices. "... but here's the catch ...", The Kings lowered their eyebrows everytime they hear Matt muttering those words, knowing all too well that they're in for some joyride or nothing at all. Niggy and Chi Ho were already clenching their fists. But then he said, "... they want us to launch a fridge..."



"A FRIDGE? WTF!?" We all looked at each other for a short moment but in our minds, we were all thinking of the same thing. And that is to show what we've got!



Coming out with a script for a fridge launch is hard enough but when you only get to hear the news 3 weeks before the event is much harder. It came to us as a surprise really. On 20 June, Niggy, Matt and Chi Ho were due to attend a meeting with the teams working on the launch where The Kings were supposed to see the script for the very first time. But Alas!, that was the time when The Kings found out that they had to conjure up their own script. And the three Kings left with a handful of brochures which the Electrolux team believed would "inspire" us but only enough to make our palms "perspire"!. Brochures that read "Where do you keep your market fresh goods in your home? In an Electrolux refrigerator of course." (And now, to know the Electrolux correspondence better, replace "market fresh goods in your home" with "brain".

If that wasn't hard enough, The Kings had to go through so many parties just to get an "OK" for our script. The Talent Factory, JDI, Krakatoa and worst of all Electrolux. Man, their mental capacity to understand a script is pretty much as square as a fridge and to stoop down to their level, The Kings had to revise (its more like a revamp) the script 4 times within the timeframe given and then only having less than 48 hours of practice. But let's do the math, 4 script in 3 weeks and less than 48 hours of practice... that sounds like ComeBackKings capability to me! But to top it all up, all the workload had forced The Kings to succumb to a bulk of virus attack that spread among all the Kings and Chi Ho being the last victim.

The final script was finished on the Monday before the big Thursday and we can't help but stress on the support and belief given to us by the organizing committee. And when the day finally came, The Kings was never been more confident. Maybe except Jon, whom The Kings threw into the deep end and gave him a character that delivered the most lines. Jon, as how The Kings knew him, is a professional mime/ clown. He was jittery in the first few practices but nevertheless perfect for the role. And so were the rest of guys; Matt donned THE dress and pulled off the naggiest Malay mom anyone has ever seen, Niggy as the loud and happy colleague that ... aww, you people should've been there lar, and Chi Ho looks as though we can sell 100 fridges a day in his protrayal of a hardcore Chinese Electrolux salesman.



And like every other show... the wait was gruelling (7.30am to 5pm!), especially to Chi Ho, who was literally struck down with viral fever.






Food was scarce, resting area was limited and boredom was as thick as a chopping block.




However, this time, The Kings had the previlege to share their dressing room with the girls from Funky Socks and what joy was to witness the girls gradually metomorphasize from ordinary city girls to gorgeous fruit bearers (eat your heart out guys of the world!).

And in the end, nothing could equal itself to the sheer sigh of relief in the all the Kings and their WAGs that all the "hardwork" was over ... at least for the time being.

Labels: event_performances_show

"WHAT!", shrieked Niggy. All heads turned at the lavish meeting table and stared at him with bulging eyes. Mrs. Jega, the women at the helm of Taylor's College Subang Jaya, still stiffed in her Bree van der Kamp grin, uneffected by Niggy's sudden change to pitch.

The Taylor's committee just quoted The Kings half their price. Surely, the sufferings we received from our former college is not over. Jon, however, was oblivious to this Taylorian treatment, as he was from a different institution. Still, the whole scenario was rather... fake.

All around the meeting room, there were signs that the college could easily fork out three grand. Teak wood, gold plated frames, double polished tiles and heavy doors show that three grand only worth a snot for them. And yet, they still tried to negotiate for a discount. And that Mrs. Jega grin is getting irritating!

The event we were supposed to perform in was, as expected, overly lavish. At Marriott Putrajaya's biggest (and most expensive) ballroom, a large backdrop read "Taylor's College International Conference for Educators Dinner". Looks like the Taylorian's pulled another good one again. The people around us were just Taylor's College staff and some Kelantanese, Kedahans and Terengganu-ans that make up the 'international' contingent. We know the 3 northern states are a world apart from Klang Valley but come on! (no pun intended so pls don't ideologically invade us!)

In the ballroom, we met some familiar faces. Hi-Volt Productions, Malaysia's best event management company (statement endorsed by the friends of H-Volt Productions) and our close friends were providing the machinery.

After soundcheck, which we were late to attend anyway, we were taken to Negeri Sembilan... room. All rooms there were named according to Malaysian states and Ronnie was left wondering why he can't find Sparta (Subang Jaya).




There in NS room, we waited.





Boredom started to kick in quickly as the guys busied themselves with countless rounds of card games but, much to our surprise, we were actually well fed this time!

In fact, too well fed, if not the best we've have had since we started performing professionally. A burger that Ronnie can't fit in his mouth, a burger patty so huge that Matt didn't ask for seconds and the amount of mayo smeared on Niggy's face suggest that its the best burger on the planet, just behind those Ramly burgers.

Then, after a 5-hour wait, we finally got the call and began our preparations. Ronnie was pulling up his pants, Jon was grooming, Matt was tightening his fake beared, Chi Ho was checking the alignment of his broom, and Niggy can't choose which pair of shades he should wear. Discussions about crowd response fill the room. One last practice for the Riverdance and we were good to go!

As the curtains ascend, much to our expectation, the crowd took quite awhile to realise that The Professor really is not a professor! Slowly, giggles and chuckles turned in to echoing laughter as the crowd slowly found their sixth sense... the sense of humour. However, crowd participation was poor and we forced to cut short our performance. Now, we face possible Taylorian treatment again.

Labels: event_performances_show